Scott Marine Surveyor Blog

The Bill Murray Technique for Saying “YES”

I came across this article last week, and it really made me think. I’m no stranger to saying no, ( I can see you snickering…..you know who you are!)

But what a reflective piece.

Let me know your thoughts

• Published on December 29, 2016
• Featured in: What Inspires Me

By James Altucher

I can’t say “No”.

If people ask me for something, it’s really hard for me to balance their needs with my own.

Like, if I need to spend time with my kids. Or I need to read or work on writing or business. But people are asking me to do X, Y, or Z.

This is why I had to write a book, “The Power of NO“. Because of my many problems saying no and taking care of myself.

But then Bill Murray taught me by example how to say “Yes”.

The Four Layers of No

LIE: 

At first I would lie to people if I said “no”. Like: “I broke my leg so I can’t go to your wedding.” Yes, I’ve said that.

SILENCE: 

Then I would just not respond to people. I’m going to use the wedding example again.

I lost my best friend because I couldn’t say “no” to him when he invited me to his wedding.

So I just never responded. He called, he wrote, he asked, “I don’t understand,” he said. And I just never responded. I kept feeling more and more guilty. We haven’t spoken since. I’m sorry.

EXPLAIN: 

Then I’d try to give an explanation. “I can’t go to your wedding because I’m having a hard time getting through a divorce.”

Which is a rationale I gave ten years ago to one invitation. But those people are not my friends now either.

And there’s never a point where they can explain why they are not my friends. They just hate me.

People tell me: Well they weren’t good friends in the first place.

Which is nice to hear, and makes me feel good to think about. But then I’m sad I can’t talk to them anymore anyway.

NO: 

The fourth layer of “No”, and the only one that really works for me is to just say “No, I can’t do that.”

No explanation needed. I don’t need to argue my case in the court of friendship.

Does this work?

Not really. People still get upset. And I still feel bad. But it’s the quickest and sharpest.

It’s a hard world: people want your time from 6 in the morning to ten at night. They want their demands and needs met. They want your hands on their dirty messes.

This is cynical. So let me put it another way.

When you say the right “No” it gives you the air to find your very personal and important “Yes”.

Bill Murray says “No” to most things. People ask him to act in a movie. 99% of the time he says, “No”.

People ask to take their picture with him. He says No. People ask to partner with him on their restaurants. He says No.

Does it mean he’s selfish? Of course, not. You can’t be selfish if the things you say “Yes” to are unique to you and uniquely change the world in the way only you can do.

This is the essence of choosing yourself. Not to be selfish.

Only when you unravel and reveal the unique YOU, can you have impact on the world. Having impact today changes the future tomorrow.

Here is a Bill Murray yes:

One time he was in a cab for an hour-long drive.

He started (like he does) talking to the cab driver. He asked the driver what he does when he’s not driving a cab.

“I like to play the sax”.

“How often do you practice?” Bill said.

“Not very often. Busy driving this cab.”

“Where’s the sax now?”

“In the trunk.”

 Bill told the cab driver to pull over. Bill said, “Guess what. I know how to drive a car also.”

They got out and Bill said, “Get the sax”.

Then they switched places. Bill drove the rest of the ride.

The cab driver sat in the back and played the saxophone for an audience of just one, the new driver.

This is a Bill Murray “YES”.

How often can you take a moment in time and sculpt that moment into a beautiful work of art.

Art that has your unique signature all over it.

“Yes” you can.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

As we embark on yet another year of promise, I took some time to reflect on the current state of things.

                                             So here’s my end of year musings: a brain dump of  my state of the state

First, Stop what are you doing to the game of football?

It seems the public at large thinks football is too dangerous?

And that players are too socially irresponsible?

Last time I checked, it’s supposed to be a violent game. Dancing is a contact sport!

Football is a collision sport! Strap it on, suck it up, and prepare to go to battle!

The players that choose to participate know that. They get paid a lot of money to perform on a humongous stage and recklessly throw their bodies around.

The players who choose to partake in this war know the sacrifice and pain they will endure.

 Leave the game alone!  Stop with the whistles, the replays, the he hit too hard penalties! Men are supposed to be men!

If you want me to spend a fortune to attend a game, and cheer the battle, give me what I want, not this watered down, over officiated, watered down sludge that the game is becoming.

I think football is now becoming the new boxing.

I’m not sure which is more insane, the celebration after a play, even when you are down late in the game, or the complaining after every play by players and coaches, or the celebration penalties after the team has scored? ....and every play is either a penalty or a review!

In reality, the real issue is the message our kids are getting from all of this. I’m not sure that sports were created way back to develop the art of the complaint, or to mold soft, rules driven performers. Sports mold character, strength, relationships, and toughness. Let's get back to that!

Record Stores are Back

Hey, don’t look now but vinyl has made a comeback, and I love it.

Pay phones, toll collectors, and bookstores have all fading, but the old record store seems to be on the upswing. Hooray,! Maybe my collection will be heard again!  Unfortunately, tellers, cashiers…and even checkout stations…are about to be extinct. Seems jobs that actually service the public and have human interaction are disappearing. What does that say about our society?

Have we seen the last of big-box retailers?

We’ve got restaurants, drug stores, fast food, grocery stores, yoga studios and gyms. But big retailers? Nope. Amazon and the rest of e commerce has changed that. We've seen the last of the small boutique shops. Even Wal-Mart is closing some locations. This can't be good.

Which thought will prevail?

Why shop in the store when I can easily buy online? 

OR

I love the fun and art of shopping.

I used to look forward to going to a store and looking around. Something tells me this new trend isn’t a good thing.

Some more thoughts

Do driver-less cars mean you can work a little more before getting to the office?

Do we really need driver less cars? I mean really?

                   Is it too hard to drive?

Baseball is getting more popular than ever. It may help if they can cut down the time of games to between 2 – 2 ½ hours!  If the NFL isn’t careful, MLB will again compete with the NFL as the most popular sport in the country. I wonder why?

Hmmm, maybe we are again ready to watch a sport where we can talk to each other during it, cheer at the appropriate times, and see the players perform without endless officiating delays to review plays that are trivial to the big picture.

Maybe the silver lining with the elections, forgetting all the rhetoric, is that we have been talking about politics and world issues in the last six months more than we have in years. We may be able to get somewhere in the future. This election was being talked about in classrooms! Maybe we will see a lot more people voting and there will be a lot more people aware of what's going on in politics. 

I don’t think we should underestimate social media. Kids should be taught more about the real-world consequences they can suffer for doing something really stupid online, and while we are at it, maybe we can stop giving everyone participation trophies. Let’s go back to rewarding accomplishment not just showing up.

 What are your thoughts?

It's time for New Year's resolutions!

I know a lot of you want to get healthier.

 Heck, I’ve had a lot of my friends ask me what do I do to look so GQ? (PRIVATE JOKE) And please, stop choking on your coffee and spitting it all over, it’s so not you!

Seriously though, to get healthier here are some realistic steps to getting healthier.

9 Things to Eliminate in 2017 to Be Healthy

I know many of you are planning on cutting back on the unhealthy things in your life. But that doesn't always mean just junk food or sweets — here’s somethings that might be holding you back from your healthy goals that you should definitely consider eliminating this year.

1. Negative self-talk: Stop being mean to yourself. Just stop. You are enough! You ARE strong! You're capable. The more you berate and degrade yourself, the harder your year will be; you'll also have a much harder time reaching your healthy goals.
2. Your scale: Look, measurable goals are great, but the scale can be your evil enemy!f you've been obsessed with the scale and every decimal point on your weight, it's time for that thing to go. In the trash. Remember that numbers absolutely do not define you.
3. Workouts you hate: Not everyone likes running, and that's OK. Forcing yourself into a workout that you hate won't encourage you to keep working out. There are alternatives to running, really there are!. If you hate bootcamp classes, try barre. Hate barre? Stop doing it! Try yoga. If something's not working, try something else. Keep going until you find something that works, but don’t keep doing a workout you don't like.
4. Exercising to "fix" or change a part of your body: Working out because you "hate" your body is the worst thing you can do. Exercise makes you feel good — it celebrates your body, makes you feel empowered, and sends a rush of feel-good endorphins through your body. Working out will boost your energy, improve your health, and can change your mood for the better, alongside so many other benefits. Celebrate your body, don't try to "fix" it.
5. Kale (or that one food you just can't stand): A lot of you hate kale. (Me too) So stop forcing it! You don't need kale to be healthy! Maybe it's not kale, but it's another healthy food you've been forcing yourself to eat under the pretense that it's healthy and you "need it" to be healthy yourself. This just isn't true, and if your diet consists of things you don't love, you're not going to stay on that diet for very long. For a more sustainable diet, experiment more with other healthy foods to find out what you do love. You'll be eating healthier all the time!
6. Perfectionism: Striving for a goal is great; striving for perfection is unhealthy. Giving yourself unrealistic or unattainable goals is BAD! It’s detrimental to your mental and your physical health. That desire for perfectionism can often be a defense mechanism, when you're either consciously or subconsciously protecting yourself from the judgment of others. Focus that energy on progress, not perfection. You'll have a much better year.
7. Calorie counting: This year, stop obsessing over calories — especially if it has created a negative relationship with food. Food is fuel, and we need calories to have strong muscles, bones, and a functioning body! There are so many ways to track your food and eat healthy without calorie counting. If you need the data and numbers to stay in control of your healthy eating, try counting macros — you'll have a healthy balance of protein, fats, and carbohydrates each day.
8. Everything that is holding you back: What is keeping you from being your best self and living your best life? Is it an unhealthy relationship, a terrible job that drains you of your energy, or a deep-seated fear? Let. It. Go. Cut the people out who don't support you. Say goodbye to work that doesn't make you feel good — or worse, makes you feel bad. Remove unnecessary obligations that keep you from reaching your physical, mental, and personal goals. This is YOUR time! Replace these things with activities that help you reach your goals, a job that fosters your creativity and empowers you, and relationships with people who build you up.

The History of the Yule Log

The custom of burning the Yule Log goes back to, and before, medieval times. It was originally a Nordic tradition. Yule is the name of the old Winter Solstice festivals in Scandinavia and other parts of northern Europe, such as Germany.

The Yule Log was originally an entire tree, that was carefully chosen and brought into the house with great ceremony. The largest end of the log would be placed into the fire hearth while the rest of the tree stuck out into the room! The log would be lit from the remains of the previous year's log which had been carefully stored away and slowly fed into the fire through the Twelve Days of Christmas. It was considered important that the re-lighting process was carried out by someone with clean hands. Nowadays, of course, most people have central heating so it is very difficult to burn a tree!

In Provence (in France), it is traditional that the whole family helps to cut the log down and that a little bit is burnt each night. If any of the log is left after Twelfth Night, it is kept safe in the house until the next Christmas to protect against lightning! In some parts of Holland, this was also done, but the log had to be stored under a bed! In some eastern European countries, the log was cut down on Christmas Eve morning and lit that evening.

In the UK, the log is called 'The Mock'. The log is dried out and then the bark is taken off it before it comes into the house to be burnt. Also in the UK, barrel makers (or Coopers as barrel makers were traditionally called) gave their customers old logs that they could not use for making barrels for Yule logs.

There are several colors which are traditionally associated with Christmas. We know we see Red, Green and Gold. But why do we have them and what do the colors represent?

Most the colors and their meanings come from the western/northern European traditions and customs, when Christmas is in the middle of winter and it's dark and cold.

Green

Evergreen plants, like Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe have been used for thousands of years to decorate and brighten up buildings during the long dark winter. They also reminded people that spring would come and that winter wouldn't last forever!

The Romans would exchange evergreen branches during January as a sign of good luck. The ancient Egyptians used to bring palm branches into their houses during the mid winter festivals.

In many parts of Europe during the middle ages, Paradise plays were performed, often on Christmas Eve. They told Bible stories to people who couldn't read. The 'Paradise Tree' in the garden of eden in the play was normally a pine tree with red apples tied to it.

Now the most common use of green at Christmas are Christmas Trees.

Red

An early use of red at Christmas were the apples on the paradise tree. They represented the fall of Adam in the plays.

Red is also the color of Holly berries, which is said to represent the blood of Jesus when he died on the cross.

Red is also the color of Bishops robes. These would have been worn by St. Nicholas and then also became Santa's uniform!

Gold

Gold is the color of the Sun and light - both very important in the dark winter. And both red and gold are the colors of fire that you need to keep you warm.

Gold was also one of the presents brought to the baby Jesus by one of the wise men and traditionally it's the color used to show the star that the wise men followed.

Silver is sometimes used instead of (or with) gold. But gold is a 'warmer' color.

White

White is often associated with purity and peace in western cultures. The snow of winter is also very white!

White paper wafers were also sometimes used to decorate paradise trees. The wafers represented the bread eaten during Christian Communion or Mass, when Christians remember that Jesus died for them.

White is used by most churches as the color of Christmas, when the altar is covered with a white cloth (in the Russian Orthodox Church Gold is used for Christmas).

Blue

The color blue is often associated with Mary, the mother of Jesus. In medieval times blue dye and paint was more expensive than gold! So it would only be worn by Royal families and very rich people. Mary was often painted wearing blue to show she was very important.

Blue can also represent the color of the sky and heaven.

An independent marine surveyor speaks for the boat.

A marine survey is also a useful tool for buyers when negotiating price based on what repairs or upgrades the boat needs. And finally, insurance and lending companies that need to know the true condition and fair market value of a vessel often require it. Insurance company underwriters carefully read through a marine survey to make a determination as to whether the vessel is a good risk, and may require an owner to address certain deficiencies.

But a good survey is more than just an inventory of the boat's equipment. The surveyor will comment on each section of the inspected boat. Finally, near the end of the survey are the recommendations, arguably the most important part.

Recommendations are just that — issues the surveyor found on the boat that may need to be addressed. It's the "may" part that's important here. Typically, a surveyor will list recommendations in order of importance, often as A, B, or C. A-list recommendations (more properly called must-dos) are the most important ones to pay attention to, and you can be sure your insurance company will — not just for your boat, but for the safety of you and your crew. These are issues that, unaddressed, can cause your boat to sink, burn, become involved in an accident, or cause serious injury

Keep in mind that while surveyors inspect a boat with an eye toward industry safety standards, such as those written by the American Boat and Yacht Council (ABYC), they recognize that newer standards were not in place when older boats were built. But some of those standards, like the need for carbon monoxide alarms or proper wiring, are critical enough that insurance underwriters may still require boats to comply with them.

Winter Battery Storage

When wet-cell batteries are allowed to discharge, the electrolyte becomes pure water, which will freeze and ruin the battery. If you can, take the battery off your boat and store it somewhere dry and cool (but not freezing). You may have heard that a battery will discharge if left on a concrete floor, but modern batteries make this precaution unnecessary.

Wash and thoroughly dry the top of the battery to reduce the potential for self-discharge. Don't leave stored batteries connected to a portable charger. Unless the charger turns off completely — few do — the batteries will suffer damage. However, stored batteries should be brought to full charge once a month, so post a reminder for yourself. If the batteries will be stored aboard because they're too heavy for convenient removal, they must be maintained in a full-charge condition all winter. This requires a charger with a "float" stage and power connection. In lieu of an unattended power connection, a solar panel might be employed to counter self-discharge

Solo Safety Lesson

As a “seasoned” gentlemen with experience on the water, I’m often asked about the feasibility of solo boating. While I confess that I have also set sail alone multiple times, I always refer them to this article.

If you boat alone, take extra precautions.

By: Mike Baron, U.S. Coast Guard Boating Safety division

For many recreational boaters, it’s difficult to beat the sense of freedom and independence that comes with taking a boat out singlehanded and boating alone, especially in the peaceful off-season when vacationers don’t crowd the waterways.

But independence goes hand in hand with a greater risk. With a friend or two on board, if you’re injured or fall in the water, there’s someone there to take the helm, help you back in the boat and radio for assistance if necessary. A lone boater has far fewer resources at his disposal if an accident occurs.

If you boat alone, make safety your primary consideration. Prepare by taking a boating safety course, widely available through the U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary, United States Power Squadrons, state and local agencies, and commercial providers. There are traditional classroom offerings, online versions and instruction on CD-ROM. Check required safety equipment and ensure you know where everything is. In an emergency, you may have only seconds to get essential lifesaving equipment and call for assistance.

Hypothermia is always a consideration. On the occasional warm day in early spring or late fall, while the air temperature is comfortable, the water temperature is going to be much colder. Dress appropriately in layers and wear socks.

Wear quality nonslip footwear, and remember to take a change of dry clothing in a waterproof bag.

As always, but especially when boating alone, wear a life jacket at all times. If you end up in the water, the buoyancy it provides may help you stay with the boat and get back aboard. If you can’t get back on board, a life jacket may keep you alive until help arrives, and the bright color makes you easier to spot in the water. Consider adding a personal locator beacon (PLB), a whistle and a signal mirror to your life jacket for extra safety.

A VHF radio equipped with digital selective calling (DSC) can also save time in the event of a life-threatening emergency, especially if you’re boating offshore. If you have one, be sure it is registered. At the press of a button, a DSC radio sends an automated digital distress alert containing your Maritime Mobile Service Identity (MMSI) number, position and the nature of the distress (if entered) to other DSC-equipped vessels and rescue facilities.